The 2nd of October (Part 1)

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

No phrase better describes this period in my life, two years ago. I was scared and alone. Isolated, almost. Not by any one’s choice, but because even the best laid plans fall apart. So, now, I had to be strong for my baby. I always have to be strong for someone or something.

You see, I am a strong person. Or at least, that’s what people tell me.

My strength, is my greatest strength and also one of my greatest flaws. There’s nothing like a stiff spine and a lifted chin to defy any adversity. I’ve stood for so long, I can’t remember how not to…so it really shouldn’t have come as any surprise that it was going to be the same for my daughter’s birth.

October 1st 2015. 10:00 p.m

The hospital buzzes. There’s activity everywhere. I am asked to come into the lobby to be checked in. As I walk in, I am taken aback by how many people are in the lobby at that time. It is ten p.m and I don’t know why I thought it would be less busy here at this time, but I did.

Their faces are forlorn as they stare into the distance. Every single person there looks so unhappy, it makes me even more anxious.

My bunny shoes land soundlessly on the tile as each step moves me closer to the birth of my child. I stare distractedly at the muted lady on CNN, no doubt, reporting some bad news in the world and I can’t stop thinking about the fact that I am about to go into labour.

Kai!

I am very apprehensive but I’m as prepared as I will be, given the circumstances. Everything on my checklist is done;

My Oyinda has arrived on time to be with me (check), waterproof makeup purchased and face beat to the heavens (check)  hair curled and styled (check) (don’t judge me, all of us have our priorities), my entire family is on the phone with Oyinda (check).

I have taken breathing classes (every pregnant woman should). So, as I’m induced and the waves of pain begin, they help me to cope.

Tick…tock

Midnight:

Pain level: Calm, still in possession of self respect and eyesight. Dignified, calming breaths for each frisson of pain. Most important of all, make up still intact.

Thoughts: look at Oyinda over there….such a pretty smile. Nice lady

October 2nd 2015 2:00 a.m:

Have drifted off into fitful sleep. Having nightmare.

Wake up to find that what appears to be nightmare is reality. Evil mummified nurse in dream with massive needle is, in fact compassionate, fully alive nurse with kind eyes.

2:03 a.m:

I take it all back! Nurse is evil witch! She wants to give me more labour inducing medicine. I have decided we shan’t be fast friends at all.

2:05 a.m:

My angel baby defends me. Goes into distress from inside my belly at sight of injection. Therefore, they look for alternative. God is good.

8:00 a.m:

Pain is excruciating. I feel it in my fingers…I feel it in my toes. I feel it all around me, it’s everywhere I go.

Cross eyed with pain. I want to stand but also sit. Why is it so cold?????? I. HATE. EVERYONE.

11:30 a.m:

HzGxRTKKKKX@#$FGT&*^CVF982KnLhJ45@#$%^&*&^%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1:30 p.m:

Well hellur there! All is right in the world again.

Epidural is a good lady. No baby yet. But also, no more pain. I love her. Now considering naming my daughter after her. She loves me too.

1:45 p.m:

The nurse comes into check on me.

“Hello Mrs. Bode ( she pronounces the name Bow-dee {as in bow-tie}). How are you feeling now?”

 I assure her that I am feeling considerably more relaxed and I would like to speak with my Doctor.

I notice that as she checks my vitals on the monitor, she starts to frown at the computer screen. She then tries to change my position, all the while staring at the screen. Whatever is upsetting her doesn’t change.

“MARY!!!”

She has now picked up the phone and is yelling into it. She summons the first person for a second opinion and then its utter confusion. She starts to yell for everyone to come into my room and each one runs in, looks at the monitor, and reacts very swiftly.

As you would imagine, at this point, I am somewhere between “uhhhh….what?” and “is it too late to run away!?!”.

In the cacophony of noises and instructions, I make out two unsettling things; my baby’s heartbeat has not showed up on the monitor for six minutes (SIX!!!!!!!!) and my doctor is in surgery with another patient.

Sigh.

They decide they cannot wait for either situation to change so they go ahead and disconnect me from everything and start to wheel my bed out of my room as they run beside me with my drip….oxygen…machines…you name it! It is officially a grey’s anatomy episode (that thing that they do when they use the end of the bed to open the doors as they are running… I used to think it was just film trick. Izz real oh!)

“On the count of 3….1, 2, 3”

Its all happening so quickly! Now they’ve moved me to the surgical table. Nobody will tell me what is going on with my baby or where they are hiding Oyinda! I don’t want to be alone but there’s no time for fear. My mind goes back to my breathing classes. My teacher would always say, “it is as

distressing for the baby as it is for you, so stay as calm as you can…”

“Can you feel this Ms?”

I can’t see his face…the lights are in my eyes. But he wants me to answer his question. I want to be petty. At this point, I am keeping malice with them because they won’t answer any of mine. But one of us has to be the bigger person (also, at 37 weeks pregnant, I am literally, the bigger person, anyway.) so I answer and tell him I can feel it.

They have to move quickly. I hear them say there’s no choice, the epidural I was given is taking effect too slowly, if they will have any chance, they will have to put me under right away. I feel myself drift off, just as the burning pain of the anesthesia shoots up my arm.

Everything goes dark…

 

 

To be continued.

Watch out for Part 2.

To God be the glory.

Matilda's Child

24 Comments

  1. Lol @everything.
    But most especially at being “literally the bigger person.”
    And yes, we never thought we’d read from you ever again.

  2. She’s back!!!!(#kisses fist and swing into the air)…God answers prayers…lol. T’was a good read M’Lady…

  3. Ms Ewemade, my self-given older cousin (since I began youth service in Edo state, I’ve made it my duty to claim relationship with every Edo person I like), we’ve missed you.

    Of course we don’t judge you. Pre-delivery make up and hair is a priority!
    http://www.beingitoro.com

  4. Finally she’s back ! I’ve missed you darling. Now A STERN WARNING… don’t you dare leave us for this long again!!!
    Love you and praise God for the safe delivery of babies. I too recently became a mom. Hugs

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